ersatzfiktion

Tumbling — abnegation

2014-09-07T23:56:49Z

>> G ( No Warnings ), Genfic, Ryousuke & Wataru.

It wasn't like him to be jealous. #unrequited love, #angst

After the events of episode 02. I ran out of steam by the end of writing this, idek

( It wasn't like him to be jealous. )

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Engine Sentai Go-onger — (sync.)

2014-09-07T18:18:28Z

>> G ( No Warnings ), Genfic, Hiroto & Miu.

Post-series, maybe AU-ish. Of course, Miu would know about Hiroto's weird new habit. #family

( Hibiscus. )

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Engine Sentai Go-onger — Goes Without Saying

2014-09-07T03:03:38Z

>> G ( No Warnings ), Genfic, The Go-ongers.

Post-Series. They've saved the world, but Gunpei still has some unfinished business... and as usual, he's making things harder than they need to be. #abduction, #sillyfic, #strawberry jam

My first Tokusatsu work; pretty dumb.

Heeeeeeeey! Didn't we die?"

"We did. Er... I think we did?"

"Then why can't you give this a rest? We saved the world just yesterday!"

"Well, actually..."

Bright sunlight, clean spring air. It was the perfect morning, the type that reminded Saki she had a lot to smile about.

And smile she did as she hopped out of Ginjirou, stretching her arms up toward the sky. But her arms quickly fell to her side when she caught something out of the corner of her eye. Was that Sousuke? Reading? Go-On Red, well... never read. Knowing the guy, Saki had even questioned if he even could but sure enough, he was sitting at one of the team's foldable tables and hunched over what looked like the morning paper.

She watched curiously as Sousuke flipped his lucky coin, and made a few marks on the page. After a few moments, she finally sat down beside the spiky-haired man. "What're you doing?"

He lowered the paper, winking and pointing exaggeratedly in that way that made Saki doubt his grey matter in the first place. Oh well. "Now that we're normal citizens again, I've got to find an apartment at mach speed!"

The girl nodded, and her smile faded. He had a point. They couldn't live in a bus forever... She really hadn't thought about post Go-Onger life much yet. In fact, it seemed like only yesterday that she'd met BearRV and-

CRASH!

Saki shook her head, turning towards the Ginjirou, where the sound had come from. Broken glass? No, it was much bigger than that, as if a Bankijyuu had appeared...

"They're at it again." Saki and Sousuke turned to see Ren, balancing a pair of trays with the morning's meal. It was the usual; omelettes, buttered toast and strawberry jam, with some fresh sliced fruit on the side. Sousuke put down his paper and grabbed his portion while Saki leaned back in her chair and moaned.

"This early?" she asked.

Ren sighed, setting the rest of the dishes on the table and calling towards the Ginjirou. "Gunpei! Hanto! Can't you wait until after breakfast to continue with that?"

There was another large crash before the bus went silent. Ren worriedly looked at the vehicle, and took a place at the table. The other two tried to get on with their meal, Sousuke cramming his mouth full of egg and Saki nibbling at her toast. The three ate in silence until the Ginjirou's door flew open and unintelligible crying filled the air.

"—ohgawdpleasesavemehetiedmeup—"

"Sorry Ren, we're going to have to skip breakfast. We have an appointment today."

The three looked up to see an interesting sight. Gunpei was dressed in a very smart two piece suit, quite different from the racing jacket and slacks the group was used to seeing him in. But even more curious was that he was nonchalantly restraining a shiny green thing in his clutches... under closer inspection the three were eventually able to make out that it was Hanto in a shimmering jade dress.

Sousuke, Saki, and Ren were surprised for about three seconds, but then they remembered that it was far from the first time they saw their team's youngest member in female attire.

"&mdashimsoscaredidunnowhathesgunna—"

Go-On Black cleared his throat, and spoke over the young man in his grasp. "In light of recent events - namely, that one when we were nearly erased from existence - Father's demands have become more urgent." He rolled his eyes. " Something about me 'always putting myself in danger when I'm still obligated to propagate for the Ishihara household...'"

For a moment, Hanto stopped struggling, hanging in the taller man's grip with a confused look in his eyes. "What does that mean?"

As if on cue, Hanto, as well as Sousuke and Saki, looked to Ren. The latter took his cue. "Just! Propagation in humans is the result of a gestation spurred by the successful formation of a zygote through sexual intercourse..."

"What? WHAT?"

Sousuke watched as Hanto started flailing again, and Gunpei calmly continued restraining the boy as best he could. Then he nudged Saki, for the first time looking genuinely interested in the situation. "Hey, he just means to use Hanto as a decoy, right?" He took another bite of his omelette before he leaned over again. "And, if I'm not mistaken, the last time I checked a guy couldn't get another guy--"

"GUNPEI!" Saki jumped to her feet, and slammed her fists against the table. "You just need a girl to show up to convince your dad about the marriage thing, right?"

He nodded.

"Look at me!"

Obediently, the man narrowed his eyes at her.

Then he cocked his head to the side and stared some more.

Quite a bit of time passed, but Saki felt her breath catch when she noticed the look of realization finally cross the former cop's features. Then he opened his mouth.

"You've got jam on your face."

Ren offered Saki a napkin. She pouted.

SWOOSH!

Suddenly, a pair of figures fell out of the sky and stole everyone's attention. No, they didn't fall, they flew -- triple aerial somersaults in complete unison, followed up with poses worthy of Olympic gold. Colored flames shot out from the background. It was beautiful. Angels cried. Hanto was crying too, but for a different reason.

It was none other than Hiroto and Miu, the Go-On Wings.

"Y'know, you guys don't have to do that anymore," Sousuke grumbled and turned his attention back to his meal.

"—hirotomiupleaseyougottasaveme—"

The two went at ease, then noticing that Ren and Saki were making some ridiculous gestures to the side. They slowly looked over to see that Hanto was in a dress, and it looked like Gunpei was trying to kill him. The siblings were surprised for about three seconds, but then they remembered that it wasn't the first time they'd seen something like this happening.

Hiroto and Miu looked to each other, doing what the others presumed was that twin-psychic-link thing.

"Ani..."

"Got it."

The elder Sutou folded his arms and moved toward the wayward pair, looking over all the Go-Ongers as he slowly began to speak. "Really...? This is pretty obvious, but if no one else is going to..."

He stopped about a foot in front of the Gunpei, with a glance that could cut through solid rock. Hanto's squirming slowed as he looked to the Wing pleadingly... everyone around was holding their breaths. Hiroto was awesome... and like a genius or something. He'd be able to talk some sense into Gunpei for sure.

Hiroto nodded reassuringly at Go-On Green before he raised his gaze to meet Gunpei's once more. Then he spoke, his voice low and dripping with venom.

"You're an idiot if you plan on taking him anywhere in those shoes!"

Silence.

Well, except for the sound of Sousuke falling out of his chair.

Even Hanto was speechless and limp in Gunpei's grasp, as his captor looked from the man in front of him to the nude-colored pumps he'd crammed the boy's feet into.

"They're not that bad, are they?"

"Just look at them!"

Even from his place on the ground, Sousuke craned his head to catch a peek at the pumps in question, and he unconsciously started nodding. Saki kicked him under the table, and he whimpered.

Miu ran up to join her brother, looking over Hanto before she piped in. "We're about the same height, Ani. I'm sure I can lend him something!"

"Really?" For the first time that morning, Gunpei was smiling. He chuckled as he looked down to his captive. "C'mon, let's go get some shoes!"

Then he tossed Hanto over his shoulder. Still completely restrained, Go-On Green called out to his breakfasting companions. "Whaaaaaa... I don't want shoes! I don't wanna propagate! Someone! Anyone—"

"Have a nice day, guys!" Ren smiled warmly as he waved towards the group.

He got an emphatic wave back from Miu, as well as another nod from Gunpei and a crooked smirk from Hiroto before they turned towards town. Saki managed to catch Hanto's desperate eyes and mouthed a 'smile, smile!'. He mouthed back, but it wasn't something that she was comfortable with repeating out loud.

At about that time, Sousuke was finally climbing back into his chair.

Go-On Yellow stared forlornly at her plate as she mumbled. "I'm cute, right?" Saki rapped on the table to get her companions' attention. "Look at me, Sousuke! I'm an adorable girl! Why couldn't Gunpei ask me? Huh, Ren? I'm worth introducing to your parents... right?"

Sousuke reached across the table and brushed a hand over Saki's cheek, then held up a palm smeared with sticky red goo. "You might be, after you learn to feed yourself."

"I'm sure there's a bib in Ginjirou - remember that alien baby thing?" Ren grinned as he came to a stand.

Tears formed in the corners of the girl's eyes before she jumped up again, pushed Ren out of the way, and locked herself in the RV. Go-On Red cackled as he wiped his hands and took up his paper. Looking over the next column of ads, he tried his very best to ignore the sniveling coming from the vehicle and a familiar wailing from somewhere off in the distance.

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Tumbling — Shades of Acceptance — 4

2014-09-07T02:34:45Z

>> G ( No Warnings ), Genfic, Mizuzawa & Ensemble.

In the weeks and months after the training camp incident, Mizusawa has eight impromptu heart-to-hearts with his teammates and friends. #homophobia, #coming out, #angst

I never know if this kind of thing is too preachy or not but it's something I wanted to try writing way back when after a discussion with another fan. Also this is probably a really American approach to homophobia in Japan but idk

Hino is...

Well, Hino wasn't there.

The star of the team wasn't truly part of the team until a few weeks after the training camp fiasco, when the rumors had run cold and everyone had mastered their reservations about Mizusawa. When the second-year starts to stick around, he gives no signs that he's aware of what happened, and for all Mizusawa knows, he might genuinely be out of the loop. Hino had been so aloof when it came to anything besides his gymnastics performance.

So Mizusawa is a bit surprised about what happens one Saturday, hanging out at Kamome. Someone's toying with the group date idea again, but everyone clamps their lips shut so quickly Mizusawa doesn't even remember who it was.

He looks from one of his friends to the other. All seem to be avoiding his gaze, either staring into their drink or shoving a spoonful of Natsuko-san's lunch special in their cheeks.

The only member that meets his gaze is Hino, and Mizusawa considers. He doesn't know.

But Ryousuke notices too.

"I guess it's kinda awkward now," he says, matter-of-factly. "Y'know, since he's gay and all."

Someone sputters their rice at the yankee table. Wataru's glaring at Ryousuke so hard, it looks like his eyes are about to fall right out of his head. The half of boys' faces that aren't glowing red from embarrassment or offense are drained and ghostly white. And again, no one can look at Mizusawa.

Except for Hino.

When their gaze tears apart, Hino looks into his tea, creased brows crossing his typically calm features like he's considering something. Mizusawa feels his throat getting parched and his heart pounding like a drum, the same as that Saturday at camp, the Saturday everyone found out--

"I heard about that," Hino replies flatly. "But it's not polite, saying that."

"Huh? I just told the truth. I didn't even mean it like--"

"It's a personal thing, Tsukimori-senpai. It isn't your prerogative to out him." Mizusawa studies the ice cubes floating in his own drink, when he notices. It's slight, but he's sure that there's a heated edge to Hino's usual coolness. "No one can take that right away from. I'd be livid if someone, for instance, took away my right to come out when I'd like."

About a minute passes and no one speaks, moves, breathes. The first indication that anyone even understood what the second-year said comes after the silence, when Wataru shoots to his feet so quickly his chair topples to the floor.

"You can't be serious! You're with Mari-chan," he shouts from across the room.

"Of course, Mari knows I've had times... I've liked both."

Ryousuke cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes. "You swing both ways, you're saying."

Hino shrugs. "I suppose you could word it that way," he says, before nonchalantly taking another sip of his tea.

"Oh," goes Ryousuke, before mumbling an apology and reaching for his own drink.

And then there is a moment when no one says anything, until Kaneko laments about the pop quiz Kashiwagi sprang last week. The others are quickly agreeing when Mizusawa's eyes flit to Hino's direction, and he catches Hino's gaze on him.

It's not until they're outside on the road home that they're able to speak, and the second-year admits in that oddly-strained voice, "that's the first time I've ever admitted it like that."

Only then does Mizusawa look up, and really look to his teammate. The upturned nose and aloof gaze aren't there. No, there are cracks in Hino's armor; faint lines that Mizusawa recognizes all too well.

"Perhaps, if..." Hino starts, looking to the side. Mizusawa eyes him carefully, curiously, but his junior only shakes his head and turns back to him. "Thank you, Senpai."

Then he bows, and is on his way.

Mizusawa watches Hino until he's down block before he smiles to himself, and resolves himself to try and catch Hino more on the way home.

1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8

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Tumbling — Shades of Acceptance — 3

2014-09-07T02:30:16Z

>> G ( No Warnings ), Genfic, Mizuzawa & Ensemble.

In the weeks and months after the training camp incident, Mizusawa has eight impromptu heart-to-hearts with his teammates and friends. #homophobia, #coming out, #angst

I never know if this kind of thing is too preachy or not but it's something I wanted to try writing way back when after a discussion with another fan. Also this is probably a really American approach to homophobia in Japan but idk

Nippori's inconsistent.

There are times when he's as supportive as Wataru, but also times when he makes comments as caustic as Ryousuke's. It takes Mizusawa a while to notice, but the second-year's actions directly correspond to which of his "elder brothers" are closest to him. Mizusawa knows that the boy is smart enough to have his own opinion of things, but he doesn't find out until one afternoon when he's been called out after practice.

After a full minute of sputtering and nervous twitching, Nippori finally shouts at him, "teach me how to dress!"

Mizusawa is at first completely blindsided, then as soon as he makes the connection between the stereotype -- the trendy okama celebrities that seem to be on every variety show recently -- he wonders if he should be insulted.

He takes a deep breath, and looks the younger boy in the eyes. It's a gesture the underclassman seems to nervously mirror. "Nippori, just because--"

And the moment passes when the silence isn't silence and their gazes falter. Nippori twitches a bit more, but Mizusawa can spot the recognition in his eyes.

Then he starts again, "it doesn't mean I'm some kind of fashion guru, okay?"

"B-but--"

"Like all yankees aren't violent. It's a stereotype, you got it?"

Stereotype. Nippori repeats it slowly, chewing on each syllable like it's a regional delicacy. Then the boy's gaze falls toward his worn sneakers, and his next words are quiet and stilted. "But you do dress kinda nice, I think. And this isn't something I can ask Aniki or Ryousuke-san for advice with..."

And then Mizusawa finds himself looking down to the ratty shoes and considering something about Nippori. On his budget he couldn't imitate Ryousuke's gaudy dress, or even the sloppy fashion of Wataru. It's true that Mizusawa's sense of fashion is a lot more reasonable; a lot closer to normal.

Perhaps it wasn't about him after all?

"Next Saturday, I guess. We can meet at the outlet mall on the outskirts of town." Mizusawa smiles big, and places a hand on Nippori's shoulder. "And regardless of what you think, I can give you pointers for your date too."

"B-b-b-but I didn't say--" And suddenly, Nippori's cheeks are the color of Wataru's hair. And just as suddenly he stops again, looks down, and back up his brows creased and his eyes downcast like he did something wrong. "W-would you do that? After all the stuff I've said--?"

Mizusawa bows his head, and considers the hurt, the hurt from his friends and both his body and his heart are heavy.

But somehow he finds the strength to offer up a hand and say: "We're friends aren't we?"

"Mizusawa-senpai!" Instead of grabbing hands, Nippori grabs Mizusawa and squeezes him with that not-quite-violent yankee strength.

And after that day, he does side with Wataru every time.

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Tumbling — Shades of Acceptance — 2

2014-09-07T02:05:27Z

>> G ( No Warnings ), Genfic, Mizuzawa & Ensemble.

In the weeks and months after the training camp incident, Mizusawa has eight impromptu heart-to-hearts with his teammates and friends. #homophobia, #coming out, #angst

I never know if this kind of thing is too preachy or not but it's something I wanted to try writing way back when after a discussion with another fan. Also this is probably a really American approach to homophobia in Japan but idk

Kaneko's stubborn.

It takes Mizusawa a long time to figure out why what Kaneko said bugs him, but after he does, it bothers him so much he can barely concentrate on what his friend is saying at any given moment, for all he can hear is:

"It doesn't matter," as he'd said the night of the outing.

It's a Saturday evening at the library when his bespectacled friend is explaining derivative functions when he finally blurts out, "it does matter!"

Confused, Kaneko looks up to him — as well as a dozen other library patrons. Mizusawa flushes with embarrassment; he didn't realize he was so loud. He turns around and bows his head in apology before turning back to the boy across from him.

Mizusawa chews his lip, and Kaneko stares back at him.

"It matters," Mizusawa says, his voice strained, raspy, desperate. "It matters because I have to worry about things. Lots of people treat me different now. Someday, I'm going to be with someone, and I want people to be okay with us, you know? It's not the only part of who I am, but it's such a big part and..."

And finally, it becomes too much. The tightening of Mizusawa's throat gets almost unbearable, his voice cracking, so he sums up his feelings the best way he knows how.

"Ignoring it and accepting it aren't the same thing."

He falls silent and notices that his palms are sweaty, he's nervous, he wants to look away. But he keeps his gaze fixed on Kaneko. His friend doesn't speak just long enough for Mizusawa to start wondering if he was speaking some unintelligible tongue, when finally he sees movement from the other side of the table.

"That's true," Kaneko replies, his voice quiet. He tilts his head in such a way that the glare flashes off his glasses, and his expression is unreadable. But Mizusawa knows Kaneko. He wanted an emphatic agreement, or a curious inquiry — couldn't he at least act like he wanted to get it?

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I..."

Kaneko never finishes his sentence, and they never finish the discussion. A few weeks after that, they're grinning wildly when they see how Mizusawa's math marks have taken a leap, when he thinks — a few months ago, maybe we would've hugged? A guy-hug, from the side or something, like after one of them nailed a gymnastics technique.

But Mizusawa can't help standing there with an expectant look that Kaneko seems to catch, but neither says a word. Mizusawa replaces his smile, and they both dash to homeroom to tell Yuuta and the others. In the back of his mind, Mizusawa's crushingly disappointed, but he's glad they're still friends. Not as close as he'd like to be... not as close of friends as he thought they were, but friends nonetheless.

Maybe one day, they'll be able to talk about it.

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Tumbling — Shades of Acceptance — 1

2014-09-07T00:17:26Z

>> G ( No Warnings ), Genfic, Mizuzawa & Ensemble.

In the weeks and months after the training camp incident, Mizusawa has eight impromptu heart-to-hearts with his teammates and friends. #homophobia, #coming out, #angst

I never know if this kind of thing is too preachy or not but it's something I wanted to try writing way back when after a discussion with another fan. Also this is probably a really American approach to homophobia in Japan but idk

Satoshi knows just what to say.

By the end of the weekend, everyone is battered and exhausted, in more ways than one.

Mizusawa cycles through times when he's relieved. He's made it out alive, everything will be fine. Then there are times that every word, every smile is a lie that he is too unworthy to hear, and he wants nothing more than to crawl into himself.

Then he gets mad. His world has all but exploded, but everything he knows is still standing, instead of crumbling to pieces like — his own heart. He's about to fall apart.

And then he realizes it's only been one day.

Mizusawa finds himself drowning like that when he's alone in the room the boys shared, packing his things. He's down so deep he doesn't notice the pair of slippered shoes standing in front of him and his bag until the soft Mizusawa-senpai breaks his thoughts.

He looks up, and sees Satoshi, and his heart sinks. It's a realization that saddens him further, because he's begun to dread talking to the only one who seemed okay with it, the only one that was supportive...

Oh god, how will he deal with the others?

"It'll be okay," Satoshi whispers, as if he knows the stress of his normal voice will cause Mizusawa to collapse into a pile of dust. "Maybe everyone won't get it right," he muses, "but we all will try."

And then he looks to Mizusawa. It has an eagerness — an earnestness that he'd seen on all of their faces. A tenacity untouched by bitterness. Don't count us out before we've even tried, he's saying. Everyone else in the world does that, but don't you be the one to do it this time.

Mizusawa nods, a gesture quickly returned by the first-year, before he grabs his things scuttles out of the room.

He repeats the what the boy said to himself, and it gets him through many days in the future.

1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8

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